My father died in prison. I talk about the complicated reality of what that means for me: the grief, the relief, the confusion, the old wounds, and the strange finality of losing the man who murdered my mother and shaped so much of my life through trauma.
This isn’t a simple story, and it isn’t a simple loss.
I share what happened when I got the call, how I navigated conversations with prison staff and family, what it brought up emotionally, and why this moment feels like both an ending and the beginning of something else. I also talk about guilt, unresolved grief, generational trauma, and the ritual I may create with my father’s ashes as a way to finally put part of this story to rest.
If you’ve ever had to grieve someone who also caused deep harm, this conversation is for you.
Welcome to The Collier Landry Show, where we explore healing, creativity, and the real work of building a meaningful life after trauma.
Episode Highlights:
00:00 Hospital wake-up call
00:26 My father died
00:55 Missed calls and the 4 a.m. shock
03:09 Parole, anger, and unresolved fear
05:25 The ventilator decision
07:18 Prison rules, letters, and reality
09:15 Family calls and travel stress
13:17 My sister and saying goodbye
15:43 The contradiction of who he was in prison
19:08 Cancer, decline, and the speed of death
22:00 Support messages and old wounds
24:57 Therapy, grief waves, and what this stirred up
27:28 No deathbed confession
29:38 Ashes, ritual, and closure
31:52 Ending the cycle
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